Sunday, August 5, 2012

Part 2: Dear Parents/Teachers: ABC's for Educators- Balanced


 Part 2- Continuation of “ABC’s for Educators:”

‘b’ = balanced

Throughout your journey of education, you have most likely encountered many different types of teachers. (some of which you’ve rather not remember…)

Strict.
Easy-going.
Fun-loving.
And, the ever dreaded, “Spinster-single-school-marm-all-work-no-fun” type. You know the type. This particular type of teacher believes he/she is not going his/her respective job correctly unless at LEAST one person fails the class. “If you hate me, I’m doing a good job.” Ouch. This teacher is voted most likely to have the highest number of upset parents/students.

Then, of course, there is the opposite extreme, which some despise just as much as the other. The “Hey ya’ll, I’m kinda lazy and hate to grade papers, but I’d love to hang out with you this year. Come to my class, smile, make me laugh, and I’ll give you an A+, honey!” Yeah, go ahead and admit it- you LOVED that one. J (Didn’t we all…) 
Oddly enough, parents/student are also likely to become frustrated with this type of teacher.

Teaching (and parenting): It’s more than personality. It’s more than just the old excuse of ‘that’s how I learned, and I think my students should have to deal with it, too.’ It’s more than ‘I want them to respect me.’ It’s more than ‘I hate teaching, but it’s all I know how to do.’ It’s more than ‘I want my students to like me.’ Much more.

The answer? Be balanced. Simple. (Well, sort of.) This goes for parents, too. (And anyone else, really.) You don’t want to be an ogre, and you shouldn’t be like Santa, but there really is a happy medium somewhere in between.

The real ‘bottom line’ here does have a lot to do with personality, teaching style, perspective, and a whole host of other things, but the main thing is: Truth vs. Grace.

The ‘Truth Oriented’ person sees rules and regulations, black and white, right and wrong, good and bad, and wants justice.

The ‘Grace Oriented’ person sees gray lines, loop holes, is sympathetic, compassionate, wants to please others, and is easily persuaded.

The world is full of both types. I tend to be a mixture of both. I want justice, but also tend to see ‘gray’ areas. I don’t want to be hated, but I don’t worry about pleasing others. I am easily distracted, so I have to keep a game plan. It’s just who I am.
I have to work at not coming across too sharply or sarcastically to students, and at being sympathetic. I know my weaknesses, and try to work on them. (I’ll be the first to admit I still have a long ways to go.)

Here are a few things I’ve learned.

1) Find out which one you tend to be: truth or grace oriented. Ask family/friends…but be prepared for brutal honesty. J Only ask if you intend to do something about it.

2) After that, make a special effort to try and improve the areas in which you KNOW you are lacking. It’s tough, but well worth it.

3) Be honest and upfront with your kids/students. Let them know that you are aware you might come across too ________ (fill in the blank), but you are working on it. They will truly respect you, even though they probably won’t communicate it. It will also give you a sense of accountability; now that you’ve told the kids, you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

4) A hint: the most respected teacher/parent is not the strictest. Nor is it the softy. It is the one who knows his/her weaknesses and cares enough for others to work on improving in those areas to become more balanced.

Kids love funny. Kids love spontaneous. Kids need balanced.

Do you truly care enough about your students/kids enough to look beyond your own pride and examine your strengths/weaknesses objectively, and then actually do something about them?

The answer to the puzzle of being a balanced individual is a life-long process, but is well worth the effort.

Until next time…

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